You get a text message. It’s him. You’ve been waiting for this message all morning.
Lunch plans are made. You get dressed up. Drive to the city. Meet him. Lunch is good, but nothing special. No spark.
Rinse and repeat. Often.
I’ve said it once, I’ve said it twice, and now I’m saying it again: I’m that single friend. I have been that single friend for a long, long time.
I’m the one who is constantly dating. I didn’t realise it until a couple of days ago, but I am that girl.
You know who I’m talking about.
She is the girl who jumps from guy to guy either a) without realising it (AKA me) or b) because she is lonely/craves affection/attention. I know for a fact that I am not the second girl. I am relatively picky when it comes to dating men, but it seems that I have been fairly lucky over the years. I recently stopped seeing someone, and it got me thinking. Really thinking.
I cannot remember the last time that I was properly single. Crazy cat lady, tumbleweeds blowing down the middle of a dusty road single. You know, the ones the cartoons mock constantly.
I remember in high school, I declared that I was taking a break from dating and it was possibly the best thing I did. Of course, I was in high school, so dating equated to nothing more than sitting together at lunch and hanging out (if you were lucky) after school until buses came or your parents picked you up. If you were really lucky then your parents would coordinate and take you on a chaperoned date to the hot pools. Scandalous 😉
After I declared that I was taking a break from dating, I didn’t date or “hook up with” with someone for close to one and a half years. How insane is that? I must have had some serious willpower back in the day. I’m giving past Victoria a high-five right now.
However, I remember how I felt in high school. It is very different to how I’m feeling now.
I’ve been at college (university) for three years and I can’t remember not having some guy in the picture. For the last three years, I have always been chatting someone up, going on fancy dates, casually dating someone or had a late night booty call (or two). No shame. A month or so would pass and the relationship would fizzle out. I would simply phase someone out and that would be the end of that. No harm, no foul.
It’s college. What do you expect?
It takes a certain type of person to get my attention and keep my attention for any amount of time
AKA longer than four months. So far, three men have been able to do this. They are polar opposites, in almost every way. They did manage to have one thing in common at the end of the day: They made me feel something for them. I actually became emotionally connected to these men and I still am…to a certain extent.
I mightn’t have been “exclusive” with these guys, but they made me feel wanted and happy. There was the click and it was just easy (most of the time).
Right now, I’m feeling drained.
Dating leaves you tired. Rephrase: Dating the wrong (but wish they were right) people for you can leave you tired.
I think about dressing up to go out for a date and all I think is: “Ugh, do I have to?”
That is when it occurred to me: No, I don’t. I don’t have to do any of this.
I’m taking a break from dating.
The more I say it, the more it feels like the right thing to do.
I need time to regroup and to just give my brain, and underused heart/emotions some time to rest. I need time to focus on myself. I need to really do things by myself (minus the flirting).
So here goes: I am taking a break from dating. Officially.