My dating history is interesting…to say the least.
My mother actually Googled my last partner. That act in itself is not that odd. The ‘odd’ factor was the fact that articles about him did exist on the internet. That’s what I get for seeing someone who was eighteen years older than me.
Yes, you did read that last line correctly.
I’m going to give you a minute to get over the shock of a twenty-one year old dating someone who is thirty-nine.
I can’t even tell you that he’s the first older man I have dated. There has been a few. (Sorry, mum.)
A few of my friends and acquaintances can’t quite understand why I choose to date older men. They’ve been in their loved up bubbles for two (or more) years now, so they don’t understand what the dating scene is like these days. It sounds like I’m an old woman who has been around the block, instead of an almost twenty-two year old girl who is barely starting out in life. Anyone who is single will know exactly what I mean.
So, I guess this post is for those people. This post is for you. For those people who can’t understand why I date older men.
I bet you were expecting to see some sexy man in a suit in that blog graphic. I thought a man with silly glasses was much more appropriate 😉 Am I wrong? I bet some of you think this is the type of man I date, too.
You hear “older man” and an image of your grandfather instantly pops into your head. That’s not quite how it works. Yes, I choose to date older men, but these older men have to choose to date me as well. It’s a two-way street.
This post is about to make all of that a lot more transparent
from my side of things at least. Let’s crack on with it!
#1: He knows what he’s doing/he has his shit together.
He’s been through the shitty college job scene and come out the other side with a sparkling career. Career, not a job. He’s that beckon of light that shows that it is possible to make it through the odd rough moment. He’s an adult. He doesn’t have his shit together just because he has to, but because he doesn’t want to be living a wild life of complete uncertainty. He’s an ‘adultier adult’, as some people would say.
#2: He knows what he wants and he isn’t afraid to say it.
Some men want a fling. Some men want a girlfriend. Some men want to find a girl and settle down. Fair enough. I’m not judging you. Heck, good for you for knowing what you want. I applaud you. However, that all means nothing if you can’t find the stomach to tell your other half. No one – least of all me – likes having their time wasted. I like to date older men because they aren’t afraid of going after what they want and letting you know exactly what they’re looking for.
#3: He’s secure in himself, but he isn’t arrogant.
There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. Young lads haven’t quite figured this one out yet. He’s grown up and realised exactly who he is…and he has embraced it. Guys, there is nothing sexier than that. Truly.
#4: He knows what he’s doing.
…If you know what I mean.
#5: He knows how to treat a lady.
Older men tend to know that it takes more than just Netflix and chill to woo a woman. Thank goodness. They know that women actually require conversation to get to know a person and not mindless, meaningless sex.
Don’t get me wrong, guys of all ages can be total sleaze balls. The saying goes: ‘Treat others how you would like to be treated’, and it is true, but older men just seem to pick up on subtle cues better than young lads. This means that they have a much quicker reaction time and know how to turn a situation around or make it even better. That’s just the way the cookie crumbles.
#6: He just gets it.
He has lived life. He has stuff. You have stuff. They get it. It’s more than just that, though. Older men get it and they aren’t afraid to talk about it. Really. I have had better connections with people who are decades older than me, just because they take the time to actually listen.
#7: He doesn’t have flatmates.
Partially related to #4. Not really. Sometimes it’s just nice to be alone for once. It’s nice to know that you can go somewhere you aren’t going to be interrupted by flatmates or total strangers. Privacy is something that I value. A lot.
#8: He knows how to maintain a decent conversation.
This one is related to #6. I met someone and we have talked about more topics in one hour than I have in a whole night with someone else. Not only that, but they aren’t afraid to talk about things in-depth. The art of communication is one that is largely talked about, but rarely practiced properly. This may also relate to being secure in themselves, but older men really know how to direct a conversation. I’ve had a few people ask how and why I fall for people and the answer is simple: Because they talk to me. Really talk to me. You can seduce my body for one night, but you have to really work if you want me to stick around.
#9: He doesn’t throw his toys out of the cot. Usually.
I choose to date older men because they aren’t immature. They had their own lives before I strolled into it, and they are aware of that fact. Sometimes uncontrollable things happen. Circumstances change. They don’t have a meltdown because I’m suddenly unavailable, and that is so, so appealing. They don’t sweat the small stuff and they don’t (usually) add fuel to the fire either. Thank goodness.
#10: He’s more appreciative…about everything.
He will treat you like gold…if you treat him right in return. He understands that you aren’t perfect, and he doesn’t expect you to be. I’ve found that older men tend to appreciate your time a whole lot more than the younger lads. They know that you can choose to be anywhere else, but you chose to be with them. Younger men tend to think that it’s just a given. Not true.
I don’t know what it is, but I have always been attracted to men who are older than me.
Yes, I can appreciate men from all walks of life, but it tends to be the older ones who hold my attention for the longest. It might be a phase. It might not be a phase. Who knows? Not me. I’m not questioning it either 😉
- Have you ever dated a man/woman who has been older than you?
- Why would you date someone who is significantly older than you?
- What do you believe is a downfall of dating someone who is older than you?
- What is the weirdest thing someone has said about a person that you have dated? (Younger/older)