Life & Happenings

8 Realities of Being a Cat Owner

 You will be able to hear their ‘meow’ from a mile away.

I swear I can hear my cat meow when he’s a good 200 metres away from my door. I don’t know if his meow carries on the wind or if I’m super attuned to him now, but I can’t ignore it. The poor thing sounds like he’s going to get murdered if you don’t attend to his every need at that very instant.

You will sacrifice your favourite fluffy robe so they can go to sleep.

There are times when I just can’t deal with his meowing. After listening to it for days on end, it is the reality of being a cat owner. That’s when I pull out the fluffy robe and plop him down on it. His meows stop and he’s kneading away at the robe like it’s going out of fashion. It doesn’t take long until he’s asleep and you don’t have to think about him for another eight hours. Thank goodness for fluffy robes.

Your bed is no longer your bed. It is their bed.

My cat usually snuggles up to me in the middle of the night and he has no understanding of personal space. At all. 90% of the time his furry little face ends up millimetres away from mine. That’s fine. Something that is not okay is getting up to pee in the middle of the night and finding out that they have taken over your side of the bed in a ‘Hey, oh you’re coming back? Here, I saved this 10cm gap for you’ sort of fashion.

Your mission of the day is to make them purr that sweet little purr.

If I’m having a bad day, I can always count on that little purr and a cuddle to cheer me up.

They are very temperamental.

Cats are not dogs. Duh. Dogs are in the constant ‘I’m ready!’ mode and are ready to party whenever you are. Cats are, well, not that way inclined. I grew up around cats, so I knew that this was a reality of being a cat owner. Sometimes they do not want to cuddle you. No matter how much you beg, plead, or bribe them with a slice of cheese. They want attention when they want attention and they want food all the time.  My cat has the typical ‘I will sit next to you, but please don’t touch me’ mentality. He is the sort of cat that will duck away from your hand if you try to pat him when he doesn’t want to be touched. He can be a bit of an asshole, but he knows when you’re really sick or in need of a cuddle.

You talk to them in a baby voice like they’re your own child (because they are)

I talk to my cat in a very, very high pitch. I’ve noticed that my mother and sister do it too. If someone happened to walk into the same room as us, they would probably wonder if we had temporarily lost our minds. Not only that, but I use baby language with him. This is turning into a problem because 90% of my conversations happen to involve my cat, dog, or newly acquired pet duck. I speak to all of them like they’re my babies and I really need more human interaction to remind myself that I’m an adult.

You will get into a habit of checking under your bed for ‘presents’.

My last cats, Jazz and Ginger, were hunters. They would bring ‘presents’ of mice, rabbits, birds or frogs into the house. Sometimes they would still be alive. It was like they were trying to teach me how to hunt. Sorry guys, but my girlish screams definitely proved that I am anything but a hunter. Needless to say, I got into a habit of checking under the foot of my bed, the doorway to my bedroom, and the steps to the garage for any ‘presents’ that might be lying around. I know they mean well, but it is not something you want to see first thing in the morning…or stumble upon two days after the fact. Ick.

They will attack you out of nowhere.

I thought my cat had grown out of the ‘attack anything that moves’ phase, but, at six years old, he proved me wrong. He was flopping around on the floor and purring like a little engine. He was being cute as all heck. This is when I should have known that something was up, but I was drawn in by all the cute. It took one second for him to go from ‘look how fluffy and cute I am’ to ‘what are those weird sticks you walk on?’ (aka my legs) and he promptly attacked my toes, ankles and legs. Well, good morning to you, too. Asshole.

You have been warned. However, under all the fur and ‘I do what I want’ exterior, cats are great. Part of me actually thinks that I was a cat in another life. I mean, who doesn’t want to be cuddled, sleep, and eat food all day? The part about having absolutely no responsibilities is just a fun perk.

  • Do you own a cat?
  • What is the best (or worst) thing about your fur baby?
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  • Reply rugby843

    Very pretty cat.

    November 9, 2016 at 2:53 pm
    • Reply Victoria

      Yes, he’s lucky that he’s cute haha.

      November 18, 2016 at 7:30 pm
  • Reply theheathsblog

    My cat is literally my best friend/my child idc how sad that is..we’re both deaf so naturally we connect on a personal level and shes so darn cute! The worst thing has to be when she prays on lil innocent mice and frogs 🙁 like no be pals with all the animals you b****

    November 10, 2016 at 10:49 am
    • Reply Victoria

      Haha that’s exactly how I feel! I see my cat stalking little ducks and I’m like NO BE FRIENDS WITH ALL ANIMALS YOU SILLY CAT. I have a pet duck that I feed daily, so I make sure the cat is locked inside.

      November 18, 2016 at 7:32 pm

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