Ditch the Dating Rules (and Have Fun Whilst Doing It)

I’ve been single for a while and I’ve finally decided to dip my toes into the dating pool. Who am I kidding? I practically threw myself off the cliff the second I downloaded Tinder. You know, right into shark infested waters. Naturally.

It’s 2017! You can get all the dick pics you want (or not) with the tap of a few buttons.

So why are we listening to some arbitrary list of rules about dating?

Who came up with these rules?

Do me a favour – and burn them. Shred them. Throw them out the window. Just get rid of them.

We should be able to kiss whoever we want, go on as many dates as we want, and double text that special someone (across multiple platforms) whenever we want. I’m sure you can annoy a person into liking you. Right?

However, the rules of dating state that you must be a doormat, an inflatable doll, or dull as dishwater if you want a boy (or girl) to look in your direction twice.

I’m not about that life. And you shouldn’t be, either. 


What ‘three dates’ rule?

When we were in high school, it was all about ‘bases’. You know, whether your inexperienced boyfriend had managed grab your boob or if he was stumped by a simple bra claspThere was a set time for all the bases to be covered and you were labeled as ‘frigid’ if you hadn’t done it by then. 

College was a sea of first dates and fuckboys. And more first dates because everyone in college is a fuckboy. I remember getting ready for dates and having friends ask me if I was going to sleep with him. My response of: “I don’t know, if I feel like it.” would often get a look of utter horror because hadn’t I heard of the three date rule?! Uh, yes, but sometimes I don’t have the patience of a saint. And wanting to have sex does not make me (or you) a bad person.

Need I remind you that we live in 2017? Go out, get your freak on, and get a cheeseburger afterwards.

Ask him out

Girls are supposed to play coy, wait until a male (or female) comes to them, and then let the male organise everything. I call bullshit. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. On the whole thing. I’m pretty sure I’d die an old maid if I waited for a man to fall for my lady charm. (Mainly because I have none.) I know what I want. And I tend to want it now.

You better believe that I will ask a guy out if I like what I see. And you should do it too.

Take it to the bedroom

Scenario: You go on a few dates and discover that you just don’t click. You know, despite your brain telling you that he needs to rearrange your insides. He’s attractive. You’re attractive. You’re attracted to each other. Why not just give it a go? Sometimes casual sex can be the best sort of relationship.

Ditch the ‘treat ’em mean, keep ’em keen’ tactic

A little bit of a chase can be fun. For about two seconds. You run the risk of sending mixed messages if you let him chase you too hard. Did you go on an awesome date? Great. Let him know that you had fun and that you want to do it again. None of this ‘wait one or two days to message’ bullshit. Girl, you better believe that you aren’t the only one interested in your man. Do you want to lose him because you were playing some silly game? I don’t think so.

Grow some lady balls and message him first. Heck, double text him if the date was that good.

Order the pizza

Girl, you know you can eat a whole pizza by yourself and still smash a dessert. Don’t go on a dinner date and order a salad. (Unless you’re all about that life.) You’re doing yourself a disservice. You’re going out to dinner to have dinner. Not to push the food around the plate for half an hour, take a few bites, and then declare that you’re full. Everyone in the restaurant knows that you’re lying.

Go on a lot of first dates

Do I need to remind you that it’s 2017? Because it is and I am. No one dates just one person these days. (Or maybe they do. What do I know?) Go on a date with him (or her) then go on a date with someone else. Does he still have Tinder? Time to download the app too. It’s called keeping your options open. You can bet they’re doing the exact same thing. You aren’t being disloyal. You’re making sure that the person you’re with is the one for you.

On the flip side, you should probably lock it down if you’re staying at their house every other night, have your own side of the bed at their house (and it comes with a charger), and you’re making their bed in the morning. You hear me? Lock it down. ASAP.

It’s 2017. Go on that date. Get naked with that person. Eat a hamburger…or ten. You’re only going to regret the things you don’t end up doing.

Believe me.


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  • Reply Lena

    “You’re only going to regret the things you don’t end up doing.” I love this! My instinct is to not do things I’m scared of, but the other week I went out clubbing on an impulse and ended up having an amazing time.

    July 29, 2017 at 6:18 pm
  • Reply I am Aranab

    Holy moly you are the kind of unicorn classic men are looking for. You are all there is that a man who has no time or intention to play games is looking for. Where are you hiding? Are there more of you?? Across the planet. This article is fucking awesome!

    July 30, 2017 at 1:17 am
  • Reply ahotblondemess

    Girl this is the exact same thing I did while dating on Tinder. I tried bumble as well and that’s a good app too! I actually met my boyfriend on tinder and he’s the greatest thing. People judge others for using tinder to date but it’s actually a really good app once you get through the fuckboys lol but I agree 100% on this post!

    July 30, 2017 at 2:29 am
  • Reply Fern @ Mumconventional

    Yes girl!!!!! I haven’t dated anyone in about 5 years, so all of these were like a blast from the past for me. But you’re completely right, yes we should be able to role reverse in 2017, and ask somebody out and just not fuck them about and actually tell them if we like them! All of these rules and do’s and dont’s are ridiculously 90’s anyway. Lets leave them there.

    July 30, 2017 at 9:35 am
  • Reply romidivito

    I absolutely love this post. I’ve recently joined the dating scene too and did the typical ring your best gal on the train home, fill them in and then thought.. shit what are the “rules” now – do you wait for them to text you first or what? No rules is deffo the best rule! Keep us up to date with any funny date stories please haha! I’ve also been wanting to write a dating post, just a bit awks knowing my mum reads it haha xx

    July 31, 2017 at 6:42 am
  • Reply phicklephilly

    I really like your work, Victoria. I was wondering if I could share your posts through my site on Thursdays. Do you write a lot of dating pieces?

    August 2, 2017 at 8:30 am
  • Reply hollytree2014

    Brilliant. We need to change the dating game of 2017; it’s utterly ridiculous and full of contradictions and double standards. If only everyone would ditch the dating rules… x

    August 10, 2017 at 8:45 am
  • Reply Canuck Carl

    My wife of 28 years was the one who called all the dating shots. And that was in the 1980’s when the dating rules were normally done like the 80’s. She was the 1st to ask me out, and was the one who asked me to marry her. And I loved it! 🙂

    August 21, 2017 at 1:04 am
  • Reply Rosie Culture

    Definitely break the rules! I asked my current boyfriend out on our first date and made most of the first moves, playing coy has never worked for me!

    August 24, 2017 at 8:22 am
  • Reply Ditch the Dating Rules (and Have Fun Whilst Doing It)

    […] via Ditch the Dating Rules (and Have Fun Whilst Doing It) — The Real Blonde […]

    August 27, 2017 at 6:17 am
  • Reply TherapyTalks: Weekly Feel Good Articles

    Really enjoyed this piece :)!!

    September 5, 2017 at 8:29 am
  • Reply timi00

    We loved this post- HERE HERE! X

    September 12, 2017 at 4:47 am
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