An Argument for the Glory of the One Night Stand

i had a one night stand

I had a one night stand. And it was glorious.

I told a few friends of mine and they thought it was hilarious. We had gone away to Dracula’s, to Dreamworld, to Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary, to karaoke. I hadn’t expected to bring a guy home with me, but it was a highlight. I told a few more friends and they thought it was awful. How dare I spend a night with a guy that I didn’t know? They spoke about how it was sad that a relationship had deteriorated to this point. Suddenly, my one night stand was turned into something ugly.

And I wish I hadn’t of said anything at all.

That feeling lasted about .2 seconds because I had sex, goddamnit, and I enjoyed it. If you read through this blog, it might sound like I’m off having one night stands and writing a new name into my little black book every night. I can assure you that is not the case. It had been two months. Two very long, very frustrating months before I saw that total stranger and went ‘you’re it’.

For tonight.

I’m not a prude. I’ve had a one night stand before. In fact, I find them rather empowering.

I think the one night stand is the most misunderstood sexual act. Women are told that you shouldn’t have sex because you’ll ‘get pregnant and die’. We’re told sex is a precious gift that is supposed to be given to one person and one person only. Meanwhile, men are told that one night stands are awesome and they’re portrayed to be the ultimate goal for every male.

There are clear double standards for men and women when it comes to sex: you’re either a slut or a legend. And the poor ol’ one night stand is stuck in the middle.

I’ve always been the single friend. I have typed that sentence so. many. times. that I feel like it is starting to lose impact, but it’s the truth. I’m single. I’ve almost always been single. In fact, most of my ‘relationships’ have stemmed from a one night stand or have been based on sex.

Good relationships, bad relationships, long relationships, bad relationships. All of them have had sex as the main element. I do like the traditional dinner dates and holding hands aspect of relationships, but sex is a make or break for me. I’m not here for bad sex.

I don’t think you’re here for bad sex either. I mean, we’re all human, right?

But, on the off-chance that it does happen, it’ll only be for one night.

Sex is ~*fun*~

Sometimes – more often than not – you’re just horny and there’s only one thing that will fix that. Sex. A big ol’ dick. I mean, you just get to a point and your ~*imagination*~ just doesn’t do it for you anymore. Am I right? Sex is fun. Usually. You don’t have to think and it leaves you feeling relaxed. So, so relaxed. I don’t know about you, but if I had to pick between a massage and sex, I would pick sex. Every. Single. Time.

You can let that freak flag fly

Girl, do you. Or let someone else do you. Please. I’m sure Fifty Shades of Grey made all you vanilla hunnies turn into straight up ~*freaks*~ overnight. I mean, I know I started browsing for spreader bars and other ~*fun things*~ after the internet lost their shit over the franchise. A one night stand is the perfect opportunity to do something weird and then never think about it ever again. Or, it might just lead you down a path you had never considered.

Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

Go on, whip out that blindfold and riding crop, you saucy minx.

Your expectations are set at zero

I mean, you just met this person, right? You have no idea who the hell he is or how big his dick is. That is exciting. This guy could be a kinky fuck like you or one big ol’ vanilla sundae who is in need of some ~*education*~. I don’t mind playing teacher every now and again. Some of the best sex of my life was from a one night stand. Some of the worst sex of my life was also from a one night stand, but you can’t have it all, you greedy fucker.

Or can you?

You get a well-deserved ego boost

Have you ever gotten naked with a boy (or girl) and they’ve said “thanks, but no thanks”?

I didn’t think so. No one complains when they’ve got a naked person in bed with them. At that exact moment, they’ve won the fucking lottery. They are the luckiest person in the history of the world – and it’s all thanks to you. I don’t know about you, but I never get sick of the compliments I get when I finally manage to get my ass out of my jeans.

You can skip the gym

You know, if the guy was lazy and insisted that you go on top.

God, I hate those guys.

~*Sometimes*~ they turn into a ‘real relationship’

If you’re lucky.

Sometimes you just meet someone and there’s insane chemistry. Something just keeps pushing you two back together. Maybe it’s the great sex. Maybe it’s the morning coffee. Maybe it’s the chiselled abs. Or, maybe, you just like each other. Trust me, I’ve been there. It’s weird, but it works.

I mean, try before you buy, right?

My advice: If you want to have sex then have sex. The only person you have to live with is yourself. Don’t let anyone’s opinion drag you down. They’re probably a grumpy bitch because they aren’t getting laid.

That’s what I tell myself 😉

I had sex and went on a date with him the next morning. I guess I can’t really call that a ‘one night stand’. Either way, it was great. And now I’m the proud owner of a hat that is faaaar too big for my head.

But don’t worry, he’s coming to get it in a few months 😉

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  • Reply MAIsie

    Personally one night stands aren’t for me, I’ve had two and regretted both! Sure the sex was great(well, one was the other was fairly mediocre if I’m being honest haha) but I think it also had more to do with the people I slept with than the one night stand itself! Love this post though! x

    February 13, 2018 at 9:45 pm
  • Reply Robyn

    I loved this post! So funny and so true. I have only ever had two one night stands and neither were great but I don’t regret them at all because it’s all an experience! Robyn xx

    February 13, 2018 at 10:25 pm
  • Reply Mummy Cat

    one night stands arent really for me, but as long as no one is getting hurt then there is nothing wrong with them. love this little cheeky post

    February 13, 2018 at 11:31 pm
  • Reply Caroline Henson (@sparklyvodka)

    Loved this post! I’ve only had 1 one night stand but I definitely found it empowering. You get to have sex with someone that you never have to see again in your life, what’s not to like?! xx

    February 14, 2018 at 5:23 am
  • Reply Melina Elisa | Ivefoundwaldo

    This was such a great post! I had a one night stand once, and it was pretty good! While I did enjoy it, I don’t find myself having a lot of them. The anxiety that sets beforehand it crazy! Great post though, you have a really comical point of view! xxx

    Melina |

    February 14, 2018 at 6:21 am
  • Reply Yasmina

    One night stands are always something that has been looked down upon but you’ve definitely changed a couple of my opinions of them 🙂 xx

    Yasmina | The July Journal

    February 14, 2018 at 8:25 am
  • Reply The Real Blonde - How to Survive Valentine's Day: From One Single Girl to Another

    […] be single, but you’re not dead. You don’t have to be alone on Valentine’s Day. Let your freak flag fly. Jump on Tinder and get some (safe) strange. I’m sure you won’t be the only one on the […]

    February 14, 2018 at 11:02 am
  • Reply Alice Fairweather

    What a very honest post! You go girl, I love your freedom x

    February 15, 2018 at 4:56 am
  • Reply prettifulblog

    I love your posts, you should write a novel. So honest and candid!

    February 16, 2018 at 2:25 am
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